Movie Review: Watchmen

6/10

Ack... the sheer difficulty of translating Watchmen to the screen deserves some sympathy. A classic graphic novel that told about seven interweaving stories and with tonnes of background information, it was a project that sat for decades in development hell.

Don't let the review score put you off seeing it if you were going - the tale is still exciting and well told, though there is no way for me to see the movie as if through the eyes of someone not familiar with the book.

The tale is of a parallel America, buoyed in its sense of self-importance by the presence of Dr Manhattan - a genuine superhero who has godlike powers. At the same time, several vigilantes have taken up the habit of wearing masks to take on the gangs and criminals they can't take down by legal means. At its heart it's a study of what would really happen if the tales of Batman, Superman et al were literally true.

Particularly interesting is the exploration, through Dr Manhattan, of how someone superhuman could possibly identify, sympathise or even live with ordinary humanity at all. The answer is clearly "not very well".

To bring it to the screen,Zack Snyder has cut much of the historical flashbacks and detail focussing on the main plot, concerning the murder of a masked vigilante called The Comedian (who is excellent in this film) - why this happened and what its consequences are.

I do want to make it clear though, that the less than perfect score is not because of any poorness of the adaptation, in fact it's a reasonably faithful rendition of the original tale, with several cuts for brevity's sake (ha!) - the problems with this film are actually all film-making ones.

First, and most jarring, is the issue of the soundtrack. I am a very musical person, and like many cinema goers am very badly affected by bad music choices. The music cues in Watchmen are laughably trite choices, marked by a credulous sense of cleverness that the triteness really makes laughable.

Examples in the form of questions:
1. What piece of classical music is playing under the Vietnam sequence?
2. What is the most overused piece of music in movies and is used here during a hallelujah moment?
3. If you want to show the passage of time and use an appropriate piece of music to underpin it what folk singer's song would you use?

These stupidly obvious choices raised laughs - and I don't think they work as satirical comedy choices even if that was the intention as they just appeared to be ones that the makers considered clever....

Answers at the end.

Other choices are just weird - despite the America of this parallel universe being staunchly anti-communist one scene is quite oddly underscored by "99 Luftballons" a song about communist revolution, but this scene is just of a Silk Spectre walking into a restaurant, not a political scene at all! And no-one in this America would play a communist song openly, so it's not a case of that's what is playing in the diner... odd.

Second major complaint is with Malin Akkerman. She is atrocious as Laurie, the Silk Spectre. Seemingly a student of the Richard Gere school of "sighing as acting", and her longer speeches are horrific object lessons in endurance film-watching.

The Watchmen tale that they have created through their creative choices revolves for much of its length around her (not a problem since the story of her relationships is crucial to the plot) and the poor performance means that the centre of the film is poisoned, causing major problems with emotional investment, tension and pay off.

===MINOR SPOILER - SKIP IF CONCERNED===
Third big problem is that they have changed the books ending somewhat - not a bad thing given the controversial nature of the books ending (which veers a little into silliness) but the issue is that their replacement ending makes even LESS sense. I can't really talk about it, but unlike the books ending, in which the intended outcome is achieved by use of outside threats, the one used in the film is achieved through something with a national affiliation, pooh-poohing the idea it could have a uniting consequence - quite the opposite.
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Also, it is very violent. I don't mind so much given the circumstances (and it is deservedly an 18 rated movie) plus its desire to show what would really happen if a very strong vigilante attacked a load of weaker people with extreme prejudice. I do have a problem with the laughable sex scene (even if it had better music) because it is overlong, poorly acted and unintentionally hilarious.


I want to talk about the best thing about the film now to cheer myself up.

In Rorschach, Alan Moore invented one of the best characters in the genre, a hyper-moral, ultra conservative, super violent sociopath who is, nevertheless, the unquestionable anti-hero of the piece. While his origin (and that of his "face") is lost in the movie adaptation, we still get a great sense of the person this is. And he is a force of nature! The performance is superb, even down to the voice over where you can almost hear his bile rising as he describes the city he hates and yet feels a drive to stalk.

Every bit of the film that is good involves him - it just feels a bit flat when he's not involved. If I'd been in charge I would have taken his story as the main focus and ran with it. Guess that's why I'm not in movies.

Other than that the film's real strengths are the novel's strengths; the moral questions and totally amoral approach to the American dream that really make the story something more than the typical "masked hero saves city" stories that typify the genre.

I do think it's worth seeing, but some of its excesses (wire work? Sudden Slow motion? Dumb exposition dialogue) may stem from its director being Zack "300" Snyder instead of the many directors (Terry Gilliam, Paul Greengrass and others) that have been attached to the project over the years of development. Well done to them on getting it done, but it isn't perfect by any measure.

'til next time!
A

1. Ride Of The Valkyries
2. Hallelujah (again)
3. The Times They Are A'Changing