If anyone would like to knock up a poster of any of these please feel free if you have the time - I'd love to see them (especially the third from bottom).
Like so:
- Desperately seeking Superman (Madonna and Superman in the same film)
- Toy Story Of "O" (Not suitable for kids)
- Kingdom Of Heaven's Gate (the directors cut - snigger)
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Caspian (Ultimate Summer Blockbuster crossover)
- The Good, The Bad and the band played on... (Gunfights on the Titanic!)
- The Third M (a classic mashup! A Man goes to Vienna to work for his friend but is suspicious when his friend turn up dead and is subsequently accused of being a child murderer.)
- Eternal Sunshine of the Sierra Madre (Bit less funny, but could be a sequel to the treasure of the Sierra Madre with Micel Gondry directing Jim Carrey, who is a treausre hunter who has wiped the location of the treasure from his mind)
- The Wizard Of Oldboy (Yes its tenuous, but imagine Dorothy is locked away for fifteen years seemingly for no reason by the wicked witch of the west, then finds out a horrible truth about the Scarecrow later on and you'll see what I was thinking)
- The Grapes Of Wrath Of Kahn (I don't know Steinbeck, but this would be good, I reckon)
- Once upon a time in the North By Northwest (Cary Grant vs. Henry Fonda over the nascent township run by Claudia Cardinale and James Mason)
- It's A Wonderful Life Of Brian - (Monty Python sends up Christmas with an angel sent to help a suicidal saviour)
- There will be Bloodrayne (Inadvisable Uwe Boll tale of Oil crazy Vampires. Unwatchable)
- Die Donnie Darkman! Die! (Speaks for itself)
- Duck Superman (Only works out loud - long lost Marx Brothers take on superheroes, with a harp solo and the tall unfunny one as Superman)
- The sixth scent of a woman (Indescribable)
- All Quiet On The Westworld Front (Classic anti-war-between-androids film)
A
Posts
Um...
ReplyDeleteThe Lord of the Ringu (a plucky Hobbit must journey to Mount Doom in order to show Sauron a copied cursed video before some hairy chick jumps out of the mirror of Galadriel and gets him)
The Third Mannequin (Harry Lime's life is a disaster until he brings a model of Kim Catrall to life)
Cathy Come Home Alone (harrowing drama about homelessness in 1960s Britain, in which Joe Pesci is repeatedly smacked in the face with a bowling ball)
Shallow Halloween (Jack Black can't see that Michael Myers is a Slasher and a Fattie to boot)
Honey, I Shrunk The Kidulthood (Goofy Scientist Rick Moranis creates teeny tiny little Chavs who go around knifing each other and mugging ants)
Nineteen-Eighty-Four Weddings and a Funeral (Heartwarming Rom-Com set in a totalitarian dystopia. Hugh Grant flops arouns saying 'Gosh' until the Ministry of Love drag him off and set starving rats at his face)
A Hard Day's Night Of The Living Dead (Zombie Beatles... Zombeatles!)
Ooh! Ooh!
ReplyDeleteA Chocolat Orange.
And 12 Angry Monkeys.
What about:
ReplyDeleteThe GodFather of the Bride (Steve Martin corners his daughters fiance and makes him an offer he can't refuse)
Star War of the Roses (Danny Devito stars as R2D2 as Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas go head to head over who get's custody of the Death Star. Light sabers optional)
The Dark Knights Tale (In an acting tour de force, Heath Ledger plays two roles as the twisted, white faced, green haired arch nemesis of a young commoner wishing to become a Knight. The commoner is played by.. Heath Ledger. Paul Bettany walks around in the nude for the whole movie. Oscar nods are guaranteed)
Here are my ideas:
ReplyDeleteAbout Last Night Of The Living Dead (Rob Lowe and Demi Moore fight off Zombies while agonising about their relationship now they've slept together)
Batman Forever Young (The only way to make Batman forever worse, include Mel Gibson)
Blade Running Man - Bizarre clones try and stay alive on a game show movie. Just weird.
Bonfire of the Vanity Fair - Merchant Ivory tackle the wall street set.
Sex In The City Of God -Carrie Bradshaw and her friends visit the dangerous slums of Rio De Janeiro and never return.
Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy Quest - In an attempt to finally get the book made properly, the plot now is that the Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy book is actually the truth, and Douglas Adams didn't die. He just went home. With Alan Rickman. twice.
Watchmen in Black - Prequel to the blockbusters where Will Smith and Rorschach are up against moral grey areas. And aliens.
Harry Potter and the Order Of The Phoenix Nights - TV crossover. Harry Potters magic career takes a nosedive and he is reduced to doing card tricks in a seedy nightclub.
Harry Potter and the Chariots Of Fire - Lots of slow motion in the story of the broomstick races at term end.
An American Pie In London - An American tourist is savaged by a pie while walking the moorsand is cursed to have his skin turn into pastry when there's a full moon.
Battle Royale Tenenbaums - strange sequel in which the surviving Tenenbaums are released onto an island and fight to the death.
Forever Young Guns (Mel Gibson was the last actor not to be in this series of films - now solved!)
Bridget Jones' Diary Of The Dead - An immeasurable improvement.
Dr. Strangelove Actually - Reprehensible Upper middle Class west london twats are wiped out by a nuclear holocaust. YAY!
Sleepy Hollow Man - Not quite as scary when he's taking a nap. s it ghosts? Witchcraft? Or just Kevin Bacon. Again.
The Lost Boyz n the Hood - Larry Fishburne and Cuba Gooding Jr battle against Kiefer Sutherlands vampire mates.
Highlander School Musical - There can be only one! Until the sequel.
The Phantom Menace II Society -Star Wars meets blaxploitation. That Darth Vader...
A New Hope Floats - The last in a line of valiant warriors stands up to the evil alliance of Sandra Bullock and Harry Connick Jr.
Bye!
Mrs Algo