Spoilers abound.
I have copied my alternative versions of famous endings from classic movies. What are yours?
- The Goodfella's ending to Godfather, where Michael turns over his friends to the police.
- Popeye Doyle catches and sends the Frenchman to justice.
- Martin Sheen picks up a minigun and wipes out all of Kurtz's followers, then wisecracks t the death of the Colonel - "you made quite a sacrifice, Kurtz!)
- Michael Corleone takes the bullet for his daughter in Godfather 3.
Hit me with your best shot!
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Posts
Star Wars : Darth Vader makes Luke blink as he fires the missile at the Death Star. It explodes harmlessly, the Death Star destroys the planet with the rebel base on it and the Empire Rules the galaxy. Forever
ReplyDeleteThe Piano : Harvey Keitel is so mad at Holly Hunter for giving him a piano key with words written on it (as he can't read) that he strangles Anna Paquin, and ruthlessly molests Holly Hunter until they cart him away screaming 'Music! The music made me do it!'
Fatal Attraction. The bunny survives and dispatches an urgent call to his cousin from 'Monty Python and The Holy Grail' who comes across and massacres the cast before Glenn Close can kill herself
The Devil wears Prada: Anne Hathaway strangles Meryl Streep in the back of the Cadillac, takes over 'Runway' magazine and fires the obnoxious Gisele Bundchen. And then gratuitously removes her Christian Dior outfit to parade around in her Janet Reger undies.
Apocalypse Now: Martin Sheen can't kill Colonel Kurtz so he goes on another bender mixing drugs with alcohol until he wakes up next to a comatose Dennis Hopper. And a cow's head. Brando dies of dysentery.
In FINDING NEMO, Nemo is devoured in the first five minutes, thus rendering the next 90 minutes pointless and abundant with plotless foliage......
ReplyDeleteTerminator : Having been burnt, blown apart and dragged through the machine press, the remnants of the T-800 make a last, desperate lunge to grab Sarah Conner as she slams the safety barrier closed. Unfortunately the barrier catches on something giving the T-800 an opportunity to grab Sarah round the throat, crushing her windpipe and causing her to drown in her own blood.
ReplyDeleteSkynet is still created, Judgement Day occurs, John Conner never exists and we don't have to sit through the turgid and flat 'Terminator 3'
Wow... I got a response from the whole city of Chelmsford.
ReplyDeleteOh wait... the TOWN of Chelmsford.
And in true Essex style they misunderstood my intention.
The film still has to be the same.. otherwise it's less funny. To me at least. See Gary's Terminator response. The only change in the movie is at the very end.
On that subject Gary...we'd have lost Terminator 2 as well, which would be a shame, so I suggest that your ending in fact goes on the end of terminator 2, and the little dweeb that is Eddie Furlong ends up in the molten metal.
Though actually, McG's Terminator 4 does not yet look awful. Plenty of time.
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