Not a real news story...

Police announced a worldwide hunt today for the actor Eric Roberts - brother of noted celebrity and millionaire actress, Julia.

Authorities first became aware of his disappearance following the blatant appearance of an imposter using his name in the recently released, The Dark Knight, which is currently screening worldwide to generally positive reviews.

"The imposter clearly hadn't done his research", said Police Deputy Wyatt Home yesterday, "It was clear within a second that this man had none of the attributes we associate with the real Mr Roberts".

The deputy went on to list the real Mr Roberts' attributes in question;

"Well, there's his terrible acting, his immense punchability, and the tendency for audience members to wish they were dead when they see his face on a Cinema screen."

The deputy confirmed that any members of the public who may have felt familiar Eric-Roberts-like symptoms were presumably taken in by the imposter's near perfect hair and make up work.

"Sure, he looked like him", said Home, "But only a fool would associate the Eric Roberts I know with a half decent acting performance like this one."

He went on to point out that almost no review he has read so far describes "Roberts" as miscast, lousy or excreble, a hitherto unheard of event.

The deputy was unable to add any more evidence to his claims; "you just watch the screen and you know. This performance... the discrepancies... it's not something that you can doubt. That just isn't him"

When asked whether or not this claim could be, in fact, a repeat of the "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" events of 2005, where the same authorities would not accept a solid performance from Val Kilmer, the deputy refused to speculate.

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To Eric Roberts fans - this is only for fun and is a total in-joke! I didn't mean to upset you both.
To everyone else - he really is quite good in Dark Knight (yes it is really him).