My experience is limited to about three films, two of which I had on while I was playing World Of Warcraft (multitasking since certain sections of WoW are about as interactive as being a passenger on a train) and one I only saw half of.
I want to share with you the plot of the one I paid the most attention to since from my experiences and chats with people during my time in India lead me to believe this is a fairly typical type of plot and story.
OK... forst thing to say is that the film is three hours long, it is called Kaho Naa... Pyaar Hai, roughly translated as "Say This Is Love". Film stars are treated with incredible reverence and almost worshipped around India, and all of the biggies have about as much coverage and marketing clout as David Beckham does over here.
OK.... try and keep up.
- We are introduced to Rohit, the impossibly handsome and rugged star (played by modern legend Hrithik Roshan in his first major role)
- He's really poor, and lives with his family (including very cute younger brother) in a very run down sort of accomadation.
- He meets and immediately falls in very clean and tidy love with our heroine when selling her a car, or something.
- She watches him perform a song while she is partying.
- But they're from different worlds! (big shock)
- She arranges for him to work on a cruise liner she is going on (being all rich and shit) and he gets into all sorts of comic scrapes.
- She gets jealous of him talking to other women (just talking mind, no hanky panky!)
- They have a sort of drunken argument and fall asleep (FULLY clothed of course) in one of the ship's lifeboats.
- Bizarrely, the lifeboat becomes detached in the night and they awake washed up on a desert island.
- Here he confesses his love for her, and she starts to get interested, but then her dad turns up
- Being all rich and shit, he has a big team searching for them - he's none too chuffed to see she's alone on a desert island with a man.
- He's not happy at all, and gets Rohit fired (boo!)
- Rohit goes to confront him, but states he will earn the money to be deserving of the rich guys daughter himself then come back to claim her. (cos money is what love's all about folks!)
- He gets a record deal since he is dubbed with a great voice and looks like a superhero and becomes hugely popular.
- He sets up a massive Pepsi sponsored (it's that blatant) concert in his home town, all his friends will be there, but he has forgotten to pick up cute younger brother from school.
- So he sets off to pick him up on a motor bike.
- While looking for his brother he overhears a dodgy corrupt deal and murder combo going down between the local gangsters (including rich girls dad!) and is spotted! (OH NO!)
- They chase him down and there' s a fairly light hearted chase with some wide eyed "oh no" acting from the lead.
- This light tone is only marred by the fact that the outcome of this chase is that Rohit is knocked off a bridge and drowns.
- Yep. Drowns. HE DIES!
- Not only that, but broken glass blinds his brother. Jeez... what a downer!
How do they go on from here? How do they get to the requisite happy ending?
Well.... bear with me...
- Rich girl is clearly upset by this... since she has barely even kissed the guy since there is almost no even quasi-sexual content in the film.
- To cheer her up, her fathers response is to send her to see her cousin in New Zealand.
- Yup... his response to his daughter's depression is to TELL HER TO FUCK OFF!
- So she goes over, and spends most of her time in the house, until her cousin finally persuades her to come out partying.
- When she does she is shocked to meet a man who looks strangely familiar:
- His name is Raj Chopra, and he is immediately enthralled by her, presumably because she looks at him in the manner of someone seeing an identical copy of their dead boyfriend would (WTF?)
- Hrithik again here, but he does a pretty good job of differentiating the two characters.
- After a bit of back and forth, she simply can't accept him as a love interest since he reminds her of her dead boyfriend (wonder why...)
- Soon after this, being so confused, we are assured repeatedly that Rohit and Raj are categorically NOT related. Something that just adds to the manic genius of this plot.
- Their looks are pretty much described as "one of those things"
- He follows her back to India when she goes, however, and is spotted by the gangster hitmen who killed Rohit... their fairly logical response is to assume they botched the job and they go after Raj instead.
- Rich girl and Raj join forces and try and find out what the hell is going on (some help was required by me at this point, by the way).
- Their Hamlet style way of exposing those involved is to get Raj (who by yet another staggering coincidence able to sing exactly like Rohit) to pose as Rohit to do his concert and act as bait to draw the gangsters into the open. (Cue Song)
- He also is unable to get Rohits little brother to accept him as someone different and just gets round this by adopting the little guy as his brother. Simple.
- Their works and all of the bad guys are overcome at the concert, after an abortive attempt to kidnap rich girl.
- The happy ending? Raj and Rich Girl get engaged. That's it. Screw Rohit! He's dead! Get over it. Go out with the photocopied Rohit. That's not weird.
Would I watch it again? Hmm.. not on my own, mainly to see the responses of people as they try and follow what on earth is going on and discuss the "happy ending" with at the end.
Have I watched more since? Well, Hrithik's "Dhoom 2" has been on my PVR for months. Maybe it's time to dust it off now.
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